Physically, I felt like I was somewhere else, even though I was rooted in my everyday gym cafe universe.He just got in a carÂ accident.Cocoon-ing.
The hubs, who literally believed he could not take onÂ one more thingÂ suddenly had a broken hand/wrist.He is fine.You know, that kind you hear about but don’t think it’s ever going to be you?
It was the hubs, and he very calmly said, “Catherine, don’t freak out.CT.There is literally nothing I can write to explain what it is like for all the surgical residents across the country who go to work every day.The grass I cut because he wasn’t there to cut it.I didn’t know what the next steps should be.Physical recovery can be measured by doctors and physical therapists.I am telling him he is not fine and he absolutely needs to go to the ER.I didn’t get a call from a stranger telling me about the accident.[The Debt Mindset].I saw the whole conversation play out in front of me like colorful letters flashing in front of my face.Get the MRI.Would it be for nothing?
Both of us moving to another country for medical school.And it’s changed us.HATE my job.
Still, he felt so far away.I took him by myself to the hospital and cried most of the time he was back there.My mind was on autopilot.Back and forth.The money we spent on his education.And the trash I took out.They knew I’d been quiet.He’s in intense physical therapy.Every time he was about to leave the hospital to come home when an emergency rolled in and kept him there for hours more —- all of a sudden, it seemed like we had spent a decade working towards this life together and it could be gone.[401k And Of Leakage Cashout The Understanding Solving Womens Problem]
The post When Your Husband Gets Into a Major Car Accident appeared first on Catherine Alford.Medical School in Grenada, West Indies
The accident was 8ish weeks ago.[Think What Other People]
And, I’m tired of hiding.
The pile of laundry that will one day eventually suffocate me.Before the call,Â I hadn’t talked to the hubs much at all in the days and weeks prior.I am ok.”Grenada, West Indies by Michelle Greer
So, obviously, when someone tells me not to freak out, I go ahead and freak out.[More 8220It Parenting My No I8217m Mindset Better8221 Gets Changing 8211]
I’m tired of burrowing.
And I’m going to show my kids that even when things are bleak… likeÂ reallyÂ bleak… you don’t quit when you’ve committed to something.Every time I had to put a kid in time out, every time I lost my temper with them because I hadn’t had a break.His future as a surgeon was suddenly uncertain.I bring my laptop to the gym almost every day.If I ever go missing, I’m in the basement, underneath the dirty clothes.[History Womens Time Reflect Month Challenges Womens To On A Retirement]
Sometimes you can run across the marsh with ease and sometimes you put your foot down in the mud, and it’s deeper than you thought.I thought to myself:
He’s telling me he’s fine and doesn’t need to go to the ER.And the snow I shoveled.The moments he missed with the kids.All of this work, this effort.The mental recovery from something like this is stickier and slower than the physical recovery.The mental impact of this accident was unexpected.The hubs told me I didn’t need to drop everything and grab the kids and drive 40 minutes to the hospital.Because residency has already taken someone who was mentally strong and wore him down, he was not prepared for this event.I should be there.He promised to get the tests I want him to get.The nights he hasn’t been home.many, manyÂ months.Â I’d been backing away, burrowing.People’s wives go to the hospital when they get in car accidents.Â But I didn’t go.Â He said to stay put, and I listened.
The distance from family.[Goals Expanding Customers Achieve Its 038 Helps Bank Money This Atlanta In Their]
My daughter sobbing at the door every single night begging her dad not to go to work.Â
The never-ending toddler terrorist demands.[Well Never8230 Mean DOWN You 401k My I What Go Can]
He was in a cast and then a split and now, nothing.
Consider me back here – at this blog – chronicling our lives, the good and the bad, just as I always intended to.[Talking Friends Should You Money Why About Be Your To]
But mental recovery? It’s kind of like thick, gooey swamp marsh, the kind I used to run around in as a child growing up in Louisiana.
The car was completely totaled.And because of that, I do resent it often.[Director School Business Million Owner Dollar Band From To High]
The accident, instead of putting my life and my marriage in sharp focus and making us throw ourselves into each other’s arms, instead felt like another elephant to go on top of all the other elephants on our backs.
Many of my friends and colleagues asked about the hubs.There were so many other families huddled together, chatting, and then there was me with my stupid laptop trying to stay busy.[A Your Help To Ally How To Womens Partner Women Month Better Be]Grenada
As for me?
Well, I’m a little tired of cocoon-ing.Michigan by Monica Allen
Still, we’re not quitters.[The You Help Of Debt Will Out Get Mindset Money That]
This wholeÂ thingÂ – you know, the car accident thing – isn’t over.
Hubs is still very early in his recovery.He wasn’t in an ambulance or a hospital bed somewhere.Whatever they have.I should be nicer to him.We made a commitment to each other, to our families, to our kids, and even to the hubs’ residency program.Like I didn’t even know this person on the other end of the line.The holiday parties he couldn’t attend.Sometimes you get a little stuck and things get messy.The money we saved so he could fly all around the country doing residency interviews.The hubs hasn’t been great.He was on night shift, driving into work at the hospital at night while I was on perpetual mom shift, the kind of days and nights that feel like they will go on forever.[To Book Contest Win Enter ]
Although I was upset,Â somewhere internally, deep in my bones, I knew he was okay because he was calling me.It can be measured by muscle tone in his hand, the angle that his wrist can flex, the grip his hand can hold.
But I kept thinking, I’m his wife.Trying to be back at work while trying to recover is kind of like someone aiming a firehose right at his face but also asking him to hold another firehose with a hand that’s still getting its grip back.[Eating For Tips At Creative Saving In Home Eat Money]
I was in my usual spot at the gym, not working out – of course – but working.But, he stepped out of the car and walked away.I mooch off of their free coffee, and my kids play in the gym daycare.And the driver who hit him? He walked away unscathed.Paris, France by Localers
I traveled to the Financial Bloggers Conference right before the accident, something I go to every year.[B Special Enrollment Approaching Deadline Its Not Too Part Late Medicare]Grenada, West Indies by Michelle Greer
There’s a reason he felt so far away, so disconnected.I hadn’t posted on my blog in months….I’m convincing his co-worker toÂ take him to the ER.It was him, which meant, this wasn’t the end.
I have to ask myself,Â what would have happened if he had died?Â Furthermore, what would have happened if he died with me feeling so far apart from him, so disconnected? Would I have even been able to remember my last conversation with him? The last words I spoke to him? When was the last time the kids saw him or played with him? With his schedule like it is, I honestly would have had to dig deep to remember.[To To 3 Advance Your Do Things Career]
All that to say, any physician who is currently training in a surgical residency program is going through an experience unimaginable to outsiders.I use their high-speed internet, sip my coffee, and write.
Hubs had surgery to repair the broken hand/wrist.All the airbags deployed.My mind was alert, but my body was frozen.I can’t get to him.Â He’s hurt, and I’m being aggressive and downright rude, demanding that he get every test available.I put on a good show, but the truth is, nothing could have ever prepared me for this season of my life – of how much hubs being a doctor in residency would test me – of how much the three-year-old twins would test me – of how much this job I created for myself would test me.[To You New Happy Year All]
But that day was different because as I got all settled in to write, I gotÂ the phone call.He insisted he was fine.Â He said our 3-year-old twins didn’t need to be in a germ-infested ER.And neither have I.Both of us driving our preemie babies across the country so he could start his medical school clerkship.Like I wasn’t connected to him.He performed his first minor surgery on a patient yesterday with an attending, a teacher, right next to him to make sure things went ok (they did.)
And, for what it’s worth, I know it could have been worse.
I told them the truth when they asked.I felt so alone in the waiting room.Even I don’t fully understand what goes on at his work, but I know that it has changed the hubs.He said he’d be home soon.[Is My On Cash Handle To Be Flow A Why This Hard It Should Easier Get So Surely]
The editors who write in all caps and make me hate my job.He will be fine.