Because they weren’t bad in the store today.Then he said, nodding at the kids, “Things will get better when they’re about 5.”
I was friendly and chirped, “Great! Good to know!” Big smile on my southern lady face, of course, because that’s what you’re supposed to do.
It’s a phrase I used to cling to back in the early days of having infant twins.[Eating For Tips At Creative Saving In Home Eat Money]
Plus, I think I’ve made myself pretty unhappy lately reaching for the idea that something better is on the horizon.It’s put me in a habit of using my strong work ethic to power through some hard days.When they’re a little older, you’re waiting for them to be potty trained.I was considering it a bit of a mom-win, actually.
It was me who looked like I needed to hearÂ it gets better.Â
They will be gone someday..[B Special Enrollment Approaching Deadline Its Not Too Part Late Medicare]
First, they came through my ears, of course, as words tend to do.When I look forward too much, it puts me inÂ enduranceÂ mode.And then… they’re gone.
And I’d like to change that.[The You Help Of Debt Will Out Get Mindset Money That]
I let them eachÂ select a toy right when we walked in.If it’s going to get better sometime, someday, then I just need to fight my way through the tough parts so they’ll hurry up and be the past.
So, this is why I’m going to strive to change this mindset.[Breaking Habits Bad]
All that to say, his comment sparked some self-reflection.
I think those of us who parent young kids spendÂ a lot of timeÂ waiting for it to get better.Off in a wayÂ that I definitely feel and yet still cannot quite make it through the fog to really describe or articulate.[Made Youve Them To Actually Heres How Keep Resolutions Financial Your]By Monica Allen
I guess I’m wondering if there is a better way.
I’m just going to acknowledge whatever is happening in the present and try to photograph it in my mind and hold it there tight for a moment.[Iceland Kids With In 6 Do To Things]
If they were good, did that mean that I wasn’t?
Did he overhear meÂ snap at them in the store? I don’t recall doing it, but is that somehow my normal state now?
Or, did I just seem exhausted, eyes darkened from writing alone at my desk while everyone else slept the night before?
Or maybe I just seemed…off.But then they made their way down, trickling through my neck like water that was just a bit too cold.Once the words got to their final destination in my chest, they started simmering, kind of pounding along…
Why did it irk me so much?
You see, my kids wereÂ really good in the store.It makes me ignore things instead of addressing them.
But now,Â I’ve realized there is really isn’t anything better about the future than there is about today.[How With Deal To Disappointment]
I would have clawed my way up a mountain with my bare hands just to reach for and touch those sweet words all strung together like beautiful twinkle lights…Â It gets better.
The it-gets-better mindset has gotten me into a bad pattern.When they’re infants, you’re waiting for them to sleep through the night.And then you’re tired of driving them to practice and rehearsals and you can’t wait for them to get their own car.They were sweet.You can put whatever music or podcast in your ears to pretend it’s not there, but the banging will get louder and louder and louderÂ until you address it.[She Bosses To For 5 Habits Business Money Your Explode]
But, then I got in the car, and his words started to push into me.
Perhaps there’s another explanation:
I was just being typical way-overthinking-things-Cat
Maybe he was just trying to beÂ nice.
Maybe he’s right.
Maybe he just tells this to all moms of small kids who seem to have ants in their pants in the checkout line because they areÂ so very very very excitedÂ to be getting a $1 firetruck and $1 filthy Scooby Doo van.
Or, maybe it’s the phrase “It’ll get better.”
God I’m starting to really hate that phrase.[A Car Major When Into Accident Husband Gets Your]
I was walking out of the thrift store, arms bogged down with all my treasures (and a firetruck… and a filthy Scooby Doo vehicle… because that’s the only way I got my two toddlers to participate in my thrifting adventures.)
I let a nice, old man go in front of me in the checkout line because he had one item, and I had about a million.
Each section of life, each season, each hour, each heartbeat, all comes with its own flavor.[You Love Can To Finances Yoga Your Practice It You Apply Do Your]
Please notice I’m not saying I’m going toÂ cherish every momentÂ orÂ soak in all the beauty of their childhood.
You’re welcome.[Awesome Yours Does 401k How Compare Anatomy An Of]
He smiled, and he thanked me.Then, I used my favorite mom-threat of, “I will give your toys to the trash truck to eat (nom nom nom) if you don’t follow me around and be good.”
Expert level parenting, clearly.
The post I’m Changing My Parenting Mindset – No More “It Gets Better” appeared first on Catherine Alford.
What if, instead of telling each other, “It’ll get better,” we tried something else?
What if we just let ourselves feel whatever moment or emotion is there and really examined it… kind of soaked in it a bit… maybe let it burn if necessary and stopped trying to ignore it?
I’ve learned that sometimes when you try to ignore the hard things in life they start knocking on your door.They were bursting with joy so much they could hardly keep still.[On Wasting Now Money Right Stop You Can Things 4 Your]